Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Rekindling the Fire...

Okay it has been a very long time since I've posted ANYTHING!! Like 3 years. WAYYY too long.

Since then I've had a wonderful baby girl named Reilynn who is 3 1/2 months old now, and Sunnie is already 7! I just bought a new car 2 1/2 weeks ago and I'm SO glad I did. (It's much nicer than my last car, and safer too!) Thanksgiving and Christmas were wonderful and we had a great time enjoying Reilynn's first holidays so far!  She's celebrated Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas!

 Anyway...I failed at my several attempts at losing weight, because I QUIT. I quit trying. It was just too damn hard. You know why it was too damn hard?? Because I made it that way for myself. By setting unrealistic goals for myself and expecting my body to change overnight and my years of horrible eating habits to magically get better in a day or 2. That's just not going to happen. It happens in BABY STEPS!!!

I now have an even better motivator to keep me going. I am in 3 weddings in the next 14 months! My first wedding that I'm a bridesmaid in is 5 1/2 months away. (YIKES!! I don't want to look like a blob in any of these weddings!

Don't let me fool you, I want to lose the weight for myself too. I really do. I want to lose the weight to be healthier. I want to lose the weight so I feel happier. I want to live longer for my kids and just so many other things!!

There's this thing called trial and error. And so far, well the error part has become pretty clear, BUT MOTIVATION is what is going to keep me going.

Yes. That. And if I would have just stuck with it, I would have lost all the weight I wanted to, but I didn't, and here's why.

1- I never had to watch my eating habits before. Before I was pregnant with my son, I was just skinny. I didn't have to worry about working out. I did because it was something to do on occasion. I never had to worry about my portion sizes or what I put into my body. So Taco Bell and soda and any other kind of junk food you could think of...I ate it.

Therefore once I tried to lose weight I saw a million different things online and decided to do ALL of them. I needed to do things gradually but I decided NO junk and a gluten free diet, and the paleo diet, and vegetarian, and no carbs, and eat smoothies for every meal...etc etc etc. It was overwhelming.

2- My workouts were insane. I thought I had to start out doing every workout that I saw online. I never started slow. I always jumped into it and decided I hated life and working out. And when you hate working out....you don't do it. So I quit working out. After all, sitting on my ass was sooooo much easier.

3- I tried to do a new fad diet every day of the week. Yikes. I didn't meal plan. I didn't know how to meal plan. I didn't know what I should eat, so I looked up all kinds of weird crazy recipes and tried those. Yeah...no wonder.

4- I stopped motivating myself. This one is self explanatory. I didn't hold myself to anything. I had no reason to keep going. I kept telling myself, ohh I'll do it tomorrow. Well I said that the day before...and the day before that..etc. I told myself I didn't have time...well I'm a single mom of 2, I never have time for anything. SOOOO nothing ever got done.

5- I wanted results and I wanted them NOW!! Rome wasn't built in a day...and losing weight was just a means to an end for me and not a lifestyle change. I just wanted the weight to come off already!!

6- I let the scale control me. I weighed myself EVERY SINGLE DAY. That was bad. That was not good. The little fluctuations drove me insane. Don't do that. Seriously don't.

NOW I'm doing this new thing with baby steps. THAT is totally different from what I was used to seeing! I wanted results before. Now I will get them. But on my own terms. I will find what works for me and post my journey along the way. I will want to give up. I will want to quit. But I have to think of how much better my life will be and how much happier I will be once I finally lose the weight I've wanted to for so long and become healthier and happier. I am not on a diet. I am on a journey to become healthy!!

I will have to officially weigh myself tonight to get a starting weight. I will take pictures. No I am not excited about those. I am extremely embarrassed by my body right now. I get the whole "you're beautiful no matter what your size" thing, but that's not me. I am not happy with myself so I NEED to make a change. For me. NOBODY else.

I have done HOURS of research on different things, from exercises to meal planning to motivation and everything in between. That's the first step. Other than acknowledging the fact that it's time to finally lose the weight you want to. Research different things and figure out what is going to work best for you and research THAT for hours and hours.

SOOOOO my baby steps so far....

1- I downloaded MyFitnessPal. It helps you document EVERYTHING that you eat or drink. Which realizing how many unnecessary calories you're taking in is soooo important.

2- I started taking a daily multivitamin. I know that doesn't seem like much, but it is. If you're deficient in something, your body will crave it. And you'll be more likely to fall off track. It's a nice little vitamin 'insurance' for the day to make sure you're getting enough of everything you're supposed to.

3- Meal planning. I take time to plan out what I'm going to have for the week. It makes going to the store more simple and it helps with portion control too. Which the MyFitnessPal app is very helpful in counting calories to know how much I can have of certain things.

4- I haven't had a cigarette in a day and a half. THIS IS SO HARD. But I need to quit.

5- I created a motivation board on Pinterest for when I feel like giving up.

6- I am taking photos of me before I lose the weight once I get home tonight

7- I am creating a pounds chart for myself as well to cross off the pounds I lose 1 at a time.

8- I am taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Seriously. Yesterday doesn't matter today, and tomorrow will matter tomorrow. I am worried about today, (except for meal planning of course)
Something like this:

So That's what I've got for today everyone! Feel free to leave any comments or questions for me and I'll be sure to answer them!

Until next time!


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