The End of Week Three!

That's right! Tomorrow marks the end of my week 3! It is day 17 for me out of 367!! (I started before the new year)  I am proud to announce that I am 3 Lbs lighter than last week! My weight last week was 177.8 booooooo!!!! But this morning I weighed myself and I am 174.4!!! This really is paying off! I'm going to the natural food market on my lunch break and picking up some things there. I'm trying to get my son to eat healthier foods too, that way he grows up with a healthy mind and body on top of that. Especially since he is in martial arts and baseball, and now wants to start playing hockey. Healthy fuel for a healthy lifestyle!


Reilynn is now 4 months old! We are so excited! She's growing so fast and getting so big! Her appointment was yesterday and she was 12 lbs 2 oz and 25" long. She can't start solids until she's 13 pounds, so it looks like we're waiting! She's just a puny little thing! haha

I love dressing her up in these cute outfits!

That was this morning :D

Okay last one. They are my whole world and I love them both very much!!! There's just something about a big brother and little sister that you have to see to believe how amazing it is. I have 6 sisters, and no brothers so I didn't get to experience that first hand, but I get to see it with my kids and it makes my heart smile to see this.

Anyway moving along!

I had a delicious breakfast this morning! I made Pumpkin Pie Overnight Oats!! They were super delicious! Mine doesn't quite look like the picture though...

Oh well. They were still yummy. I am making this again for my breakfast tomorrow since I still have the rest of a can of pumpkin left!! It's been almost 2 hours since I've eaten them and I'm still full. I also drank 4 cups of water since getting to work at 8 this morning too, so that might have something to do with it, but that's perfectly fine too!

I kind of slipped up last night and ate meatloaf at my friend Sara's house. Had a small enough portion to stay under my calorie goal for the day, but I'm feeling a little sluggish today. It's amazing how just one unclean meal can ruin the whole day the next day. But that's okay. I'm back on the horse today. Yee Haw!

I was going to take a break from working out today, but decided against it. I will be doing some ab workouts when I get home tonight. I have been worried about my legs and arms the past few days, but my abs need some lovin too!! Especially after having Reilynn only 4 months ago. I need to keep working on my abs so my muscles go back to normal faster. Now is the time to tone up those muscles since they are going back to their normal position and the more I work on them, the faster they will contract, and the more toned up they'll be!!

Here is a YouTube video for a 10 minute ab workout. Just in case you wanted to give it a try! And I also have more work outs on my Pinterest as well if you would like to try them.

What a great day that will be!!! To realize that I finally don't have to suck it in anymore. It's a slow process. Oh lord is it slow. I mean it's been almost a month and I honestly don't even really know my starting weight since I used an inaccurate scale the first time I weighed myself, But if I had to guess, I started at 180 lbs. 5 lbs more than I thought I did. but that means I am losing 2 lbs a week like I wanted to...I am now 174.4 instead of 180. I don't really feel like anything is happening, but the number on the scale is going down, so that means that something is happening!! It's only been almost 3 weeks. I will not give up. I keep looking in the mirror to see anything happening, and so far I haven't really noticed anything. It's very discouraging.

I'm frustrated. But this is only the beginning. One day at a time. That's it. One tiny little day.

I am a little over 2 weeks from posting my progress pictures. I am nervous because I really don't think much has changed, but I will have to post them side by side and see what changes to my body there have been. The number on the scale is moving, so that must be a sign that SOMETHING is happening. Even if it's just a little bit of something. In 6 months I will really be able to tell a difference, I mean I'm only 5 months and a week away from that! I'm almost a month into this!!

I only have 350 more days to go. I know I said I would give myself 18 months to lose the weight, but I'm going to set a new goal based on the weight that I've lost in the past month which is 5.6 lbs, to lose all 55 lbs that I want to. I know I said I would be satisfied with a year and a half, but I think that a year will be plenty of time to lose 55 lbs. If I lose at least 5 lbs a month, I will make it in 11 months. Not even a year.

Clean eating is the trick that I've learned. Don't starve yourself. Just eat clean, and train hard.

Remember, drink your water, don't eat those cookies, work out, get some sleep, and be happy!!

One day at a time.

Comments, questions, or concerns?

Feel free to leave them below!

Cheers!

-Beka-

What Day Is It???

What day is it?? HUMP DAAYYYY!!! I'm feeling great today! I already got a morning workout in. Just a small one, but I was up and moving this morning! Some jumping jacks, squats, lunges, a wall sit, and some sit ups! (I broke this in half since I'm not quite there yet on the strength scale lol)

I feel great!! I was up early and we went to the store already today too. My dad gave me a gift card for my birthday so we went shopping! I am very excited about food shopping. I love food. Now I love GOOD food too! I spent a little more than the gift card, but that's okay. I got what I needed :)

Yay! I'm ready to start making my overnight oats now! I also got flax seeds, old fashioned rolled oats, kale, spinach, organic maple syrup, unsweetened cocoa powder, zucchini, bananas, cage free eggs, almond milk, pb2 peanut butter, apples, an onion, avocados, clementines, some Z Bars for Sunnie, and 100% whole wheat bread. I am determined to set myself up for success to lose this weight. So far so good! I am on week 3 of my journey so far and I am feeling so great!! I'm beginning to have much more energy than I did before, I've reduced my intake of processed food by 80%, and I'm drinking lots of water on top of that. I've been getting between 2-3 liters a day on average. I've stopped drinking soda altogether also.

I tried my PB2 powdered peanut butter this morning! You just mix 2 tbsp pb2 with 1 tbsp water and mix until smooth! I put that on my 100% whole wheat swirl bread today! Which means I've only had 5g of sugars! 2 tbsp of PB2 has 45 calories vs 180 from regular peanut butter which has tons of fat, oil and sugars in it. A lot of blah to bring you down.

I'm making Chicken Avocado Burritos for dinner tonight! I will be making enough so that I can take some for lunch tomorrow too. I have all kinds of yummy recipes and workouts on my Pinterest so feel free to take a gander and check that out as well!

My scale comes in today! I bought one for pretty cheap off of Amazon. I think it was like $14.99 or somewhere around there. Although I won't be using it every day (as tempting as that will be) I am still going to weigh myself once a week and see how I'm doing just so I can keep up on the fat loss. Once I start getting closer to my goal weight, I won't be as worried about the number on the scale since I will be gaining muscle at the same time that I'm losing weight. Toning up my body and such. :) I am going to weigh myself on Friday mornings that way I keep it consistent.

I worked out my arms and shoulders yesterday like nobody's business! Lots of dumbbell exercises and push-ups! I'm trying not to use any of the machinery at the gym because I am the machine! I am using my own body weight and the help of some free weights, to do my strength training. I will be working on my abs today as well as my lower back to get those muscles toned and strong!

This is a strange transition for Sunnie too as he is used to eating a ton of processed food also, he loves Doritos and Ramen noodles which neither of those are healthy for you so I don't buy them anymore. His dad does so he eats that when he goes over there, but at our house, we are only eating healthy food that will give you energy and is good food for your body!!

So far my biggest challenge is telling people that I can't eat what they made because it's not something that is good for me. Trying to come up with a nice way to say "uh sorry I can't eat that" without them getting offended is going to be hard. I don't want them to think that I think they eat like crap, but at the same time, I don't want to put bad things into my body! I don't want to eat the high sodium taco seasoning and beef, I would rather eat my chicken and avocados, I don't want spaghetti and meatballs, I want spaghetti squash and broccoli...Any suggestions for that? I know honesty is key, but I don't want to be rude at the same time. I'm trying to make my meals at home now so that I have an excuse to not go anywhere most days, that way I'll have my healthy lunch the next day or 2 also!

Gotta load up on healthy snacks so I'm not scarfing down a bunch of food when I get home, although I have been doing really well with that since I'm drinking so much water! I try to eat a little something every 2 hours that way it keeps my metabolism up throughout the day and my body isn't starving in between my meals!

I will be showing you pictures of my meals also that way you can see how I make them and how delicious they look! haha

Well, until next time guys!

Comments, questions, concerns??

Feel free to leave them below!

Love ya!

-Beka-

I Think I Can!

People ask me once they start seeing me lose weight, what I do, what's my secret?? There really and truly is no secret. It is what it is. It is 70/80% diet 20/30% exercise, and when I say diet, I mean what you eat. Don't restrict yourself from eating or you'll set yourself up for failure. What people don't get a lot of the time, is that you have to go on some crazy fad diet, and I was one of those people too for a long time. The other mistake I made, and I know most people make this one too, is that I expected results overnight. That's impossible. Unless you have all of the fat sucked out of your body and skin tightening surgery all in one, its not gonna happen. It's a slow process. That's what I'm learning too.

The scale was not what I hoped it would be on Friday, but there were a few variables from the last time I weighed myself: a different scale, it was on a hard surface vs the carpet, and in the evening vs the morning. Although I should have weighed myself in the morning, this scale was more accurate. I'm further from my goal weight than I thought. I'm already seeing and feeling small differences. I don't depend on coffee in the morning to wake me up anymore! I'm okay with a cup of tea and my water. My stomach has actually flattened a little bit and I'm not as bloated. I'm eating so much better than I have been in the past. I'm getting all of the vitamins and nutrients that I need throughout the day, its helping me sleep better to not have all sorts of processed food. I still am eating some processed stuff, just not nearly as much as I was a few weeks ago. The time will go by that you are wanting to lose weight whether you do it or not, you choose to put food into your mouth. It's up to you what you put in there.

You can eat healthy and it can still be delicious too!! I've found so many recipes online and mostly on Pinterest. I know I've talked about her before, but her name is Catherine. She has her own blog and Pinterest account too. Rabbit Food For My Bunny Teeth is its name! She lost 80 lbs in 10 months by eating better and exercising. And she weighed more than I do! She has so many tips and recipes, many which I have pinned as well, and helps keep you motivated!


I don't want to use the scale very much during this journey I'm on. It's seriously the devil. Muscle weighs more than fat, and you fluctuate so often with your weight that a scale is not the greatest tool to use. It helps give you an idea of how you're doing every so often, but go by how your clothes fit rather than the number on the scale. It's kind of cliché, but I seriously have an old pair of pants that I used to fit into hanging on my closet doorknob staring at me in my face every day telling me to stay on track and keep going. My bridesmaids dress is hanging on the back of my bedroom door in the bag so I see it every day too reminding me that I need to fit into it in a year and to keep on track too. If that's not enough, on Saturday, I'm going to find a bridesmaids dress for another wedding that I'm in in June! So the more I stay on track, the happier I am going to be.

I'm already not nearly as bloated as I was 2 weeks ago when I started this new lifestyle! I haven't been eating empty carbs or snacking a ton. I've been doing really well keeping myself on track. I'm very impressed with myself. I haven't stuck with something this long....well, ever really, so this is a good sign that I'm not going to give up. I would always get down to about 145 and then rebound and gain all the weight I lost back, well not this time!! This time I'm really going to do it. And I have a commitment to all of you to finish what I started. 3 weeks from today I am posting progress pictures for you all to see. Once a month I will post the pictures, along with my weight. What changes have you made?? Maybe you took the stairs instead of the elevator today! Good for you. Maybe you parked further away from the door so you had to walk farther!

Every little bit counts. Now let's talk recipes!! I've made and tried some yummy ones over the past few days. Thursday I had all natural ground turkey lettuce wraps with my friend Stephanie who's wedding is in a year, well less than a year now! We used butter lettuce for the wraps. Then ground turkey, all natural mozzarella cheese, and diced tomatoes. Yumm!

Friday my son was sick at home from school :( I made him some chicken noodle soup. I had a couple slices of fresh  pineapple and a banana for lunch and I was full!

 Then I made 2 ingredient pancakes for dinner. I made it 5 ingredients though lol along with the banana and eggs, I  added a little cinnamon, a teeny bit of vanilla, and honey. Check out my Pinterest for the recipe. Rebecca Miller SpeedBinder. I made them again for my breakfast on Saturday. The whole batch is 250 calories so seriously pig out on those things!

I then made banana chia seed pudding for a snack. Yum!!! That's on my Pinterest as well.

Saturday night I made this delicious masterpiece!! Spaghetti squash with chicken, broccoli, garlic, and cheese! Can you say aahhhhmazing?! Low carb deliciousness that I indulged myself with. Granted I only had about a cups worth of the whole meal before I was full, but that's okay! Abs are made in the kitchen after all.

 I'm going to start making overnight oats for my breakfast in the morning. They are a yummy way to kick start your day with a boost of energy. And yes I have lots of recipes on my Pinterest for those as well. Eating healthy is delicious and your body will thank you for it. Don't use it as a garbage can...its not one. It's the only body you have, so take care of it. You get more miles out of a car that you take care of regularly don't you? Well its the same concept, but in years. Your body keeps an accurate journal of what you eat regardless of whether you write it down or put it in your journal. You can't fool your body, so why fool your mind? Change your mind first, then your body will change.

I'm excited to get my nutribullet in a month and a half or so!! It's a food processor and a blender! I'm going to use it to make Reilynn's baby food too in a couple of months when she's ready for solids. Then I'll be able to have smoothies too and have tons of delicious meals by doing that. And yes, I have a board on Pinterest for smoothies too! Lol anyway, you got this! Let's do this together!! We do it together, we can't fail! Quitting is not an option at this point. You already made your commitment to getting healthy. So did I. We can definitely do this. Until next time!


Leave any comments or questions that you may have!

-Beka-

Delish Food and Kick Ass Workouts!

Hello everyone! I'm back!!! It's been what? 2 whole days? Eh whatever. Anyway, how has your week gone so far? Are you staying on track? If not, what are you doing to get back to it?

I'm so excited! Sara and I made a seriously delicious dinner last night. And I can't wait to brag about it and tell you how absolutely simple and easy it was!! First a picture of the masterpiece:

Seriously easy as easy can be. 3 chicken breasts cut horizontally and placed in the middle of a coated casserole dish, then 4 medium red potatoes cut up, and green beans or broccoli on the other side, 1/2 a stick of melted butter, or you could substitute olive oil, and half a packet of italian dressing mix on the top. Cover with foil and bake in the oven for an hour and vuwala! Dinner is served! It was enough to feed 6 of us and roughly 300 cals per serving!! The potatoes were a little undercooked though, so I would recommend probably boiling them for 10 minutes before putting them in with the rest of the meal.

We're having roast tonight and we already calculated it and that meal is right around 300 calories as well! I will be taking pics of food and posting them also! Yum yum yum!

This was my breakfast this morning (again lol):

Totes amazing. Trying to get to a point where I eat mainly fruits and veggies for my main sources of food instead of carbs. That is sooooo hard. So is Trying not to eat sugar or processed food. I'm trying to get away from that too. Trying to eat all natural all healthy food.

This was my snack:

Double YUM!!!! Just enough to help me make it through the rest of the day today and not be starving when I get off work at 4;30 and try to eat everything in Sara's kitchen! Especially since she still has Christmas cookies left over!!! Talk about temptation!

But it helps that we're kind of competing in our weight loss, even though she is 30 lbs less than me, that's totally okay. I can lose the weight that I need to, and she and I can both look good together!!

Now lets talk workouts!!!

What do you wear when you workout?? I wear yoga pants/leggings and a t-shirt and a hoodie or sweatshirt to sweat more. Always wearing a good pair of athletic shoes also!! I'm getting more as soon as my taxes come in! New shoes and more yoga pants!! (You can't have too many yoga pants or leggings. seriously)

I'm doing my workouts every day that I'm scheduling them in for myself. I'm sticking to it! Which this is the first time I'm actually sticking to a workout routine and healthy eating for this long....and it's been a week. How sad is that? I've never been able to stick to something this consistently for more than a week and a half. Yikes. But that's okay, I'm doing it now. Things are getting better for me!! It's this whole endurance thing that I really need to work on and I'm getting there. I'm going to finish this week doing 30 minutes on the elliptical and then starting next week I'm going to do 45 minutes instead!

I've been doing strength training as well to make sure I build up my muscle while I'm working off the fat by doing cardio before hand. My legs are definitely sore today!! We did legs yesterday and my booty and legs were definitely burning during that workout! It was awesome. I'm excited to workout my arms, shoulders, chest, and upper back today. I'm going to do more with my arms today than I have been. I don't feel like I've been giving them a hard enough workout. I know I need to start slow, well I think I need to push myself now with my arms and shoulders and chest and back.

Only 3 more days till weigh day!!! I'm so excited to see how I've done this week. I'm really thinking I'm going to be down to the 169 that I'm hoping for.

I have a ton of stuff pinned on my Pinterest. Rebecca Miller SpeedBinder is my name on there. Look me up and follow me!! I have meals, and healthy snacks and desserts on there too, as well as fitness tips and exercises and even my motivation board.

What is the best pair of workout shoes for what you do? I'm looking into Under Armour for workout clothes and shoes. Any tips?

Only 3 weeks till I post my progress pictures!!!

On Saturday I will have completed week #2 in my weight loss journey. Only 50 more to go till the end of the year. Day 6 out of 365. I got this!! :)

One measly day at a time. You got this.


Until next time!!

Comments, concerns, questions? Leave em for me!

-Beka-

Happy New Year!

Good Morning and Happy New Year!! How was everyone's weekend? Did you get to the gym or work out at all?? I did! I kinda cheated yesterday though. I had some birthday cake and goodies at my friend's daughters birthday party! But that's okay, it was my birthday too! But no more! Back on track today!!

I went with my best friend to pick out wedding dresses on Saturday and she found hers! The dress that we fell in love with for her is a sterling Vera Wang strapless bridal gown. Omg it's beautiful!!! I am the maid of honor in the wedding and we found my dress as well as the other bridesmaids dresses. My dress is a prom dress though so I had to buy it on Saturday. Apparently it's prom season and once they're sold out, that's it. So I had to get it. AND because it's a prom dress, they only can alter it to go down 2 sizes. So instead of the size 13 dress, I bought a size 9...talk about motivation!!! I believe in myself enough to know that I will get down to at least a size 9 in a year. That's 2 dress sizes for me. From a 13, to an 11, to a 9. YIKES :) So excited!!!

Anyway! How is your water intake today??? I mean seriously...

I have to tell myself that every single day!!! I hate drinking water. I would much rather have something with some flavor. But plain water is the best thing you can be drinking.

Don't mind my breakfast in there haha I had a slice of 100% whole wheat Pepperidge Farms cinnamon raisin swirl bread and a tbsp of chunky peanut butter. And then the rest of Sunnie's oatmeal that he didn't finish. He's hangin out with me at work today since he doesn't go back to school until tomorrow! We were out of coffee this morning (Yeah...on a Monday)

 I didn't beat myself up over eating a piece of birthday cake and kind of splurging yesterday for one big cheat day! That's okay!! I'm back on the horse today!

I had an avocado and a can of Progresso Chicken Noodle Soup - Light for lunch since I was in a hurry and didn't have any leftovers or time to make anything for lunch this morning. I had some broccoli for a snack, and now I'm drinking my hot green tea.

We aren't sure what we're having for dinner tonight, but that's okay. We'll figure it out. I'm thinking something high protein like eggs and veggies since it's fast and Sunnie has taijutsu tonight.

I weighed myself over the weekend. I'm down to 171.9!!! Saturday I will weigh myself again. I need to get a scale. I don't have one. I used my friend's Wii fit. I'm hoping by Saturday I will be down to 169. I would be happy with that. Even though I'm giving myself 3 lbs a month to lose, if I continue to lose 2 lbs a week, that would be even better. I would definitely be okay with that.

Getting back into the swing of things is difficult!! I don't have time to go work out today, so I will be doing some exercises at home tonight after we get home.

 It's ab day! Gotta tighten up the tummy!! I am also going to try some at home back exercises too to tighten and strengthen my mid and lower back, which will in turn tone it also and I'll have that sexy back :)

What exercises have you found work for you? Any that you can't do yet that you would like to? I would love to be able to do real pushups. I can't do them yet. I do them against the wall for now, and once I get stronger, I will do them on the edge of the bathtub and then finally down to the floor.

Tomorrow is leg and booty day!! I'm excited! Gotta keep up on these workouts to lose that fat and gain the muscle. I CAN DO THIS!!! And so can you.

I'm just a few weeks away from posting my progress pictures. I have to show you that if I can lose this weight, ANYBODY can. I mean seriously. It is just one day at a time. ONE silly day. I mean I'm trying not to focus too much on what I ate the day before, or what I'm eating tomorrow. What are you doing TODAY to work on losing the weight you want to? Maybe you didn't have that soda at lunch that you normally drink, or did you skip the bag of chips with your sandwich? Think about the end result. Is that cookie after lunch REALLY worth it?

Have a competition with someone or even yourself. See if you can go a whole week without drinking any soda, see if you can go a whole week without eating white bread, you might find that after that week, you don't crave that one thing anymore.

Instead of that bag of chips at home while watching TV, eat low butter popcorn. Have a cup of hot tea instead of that soda. Instead of eating out of boredom, get up and move!! Do 100 jumping jacks, do 10 push ups, do 20 crunches instead!


Next time we will talk about work out clothes and such.

As always comments and questions are welcomed!

Until next time!!

-Beka-

Taking Those First Baby Steps!

I'm back and Happy New Year! So far so good with me staying pretty on track! I've taken the first steps to this amazing journey and it's so exciting that it has already started, so now, just like a work out, I need to continue on until its over and where I want to be in my life.

So far I have done arm day and ab day. Always start out with some light stretching and then some light cardio to get your heart going and blood pumping! Cardio helps burn the fat, and strength exercises help to build the muscle that way your metabolism stays higher even when your body is resting.

I am making my motivation pounds chart for my place tonight once I'm off work! I'm so ready to start crossing off those pounds one at a time to keep myself on track. I will take and post the picture of it next week once I'm back at work.


As promised...here are those before pictures...yikes.

This is not how I want to look ever again. And I won't. I've already made the first step to change, which the first step to solving any problem or addiction is acknowledgment. And that is exactly what I've done. Now I took those photos yesterday, so my body is already making small changes, so therefore I don't even look like the pictures 100% anymore. I mean this is how I see it:

I'm not this big to begin with, but it's the concept. I will get there!!


Every single day counts. Every single day your body is changing. I'm not sure if that's more for me or you there...

Something else that helps keep you motivated, FRIENDS!!!! I work out with my friend Sara, and we make dinner together. My friend Stephanie and I are comparing foods that we eat and both have the MyFitnessPal app that we keep track of each others progress. I also am part of a post pregnancy weight loss group on Facebook that I've been following and posting in. (Shout out to you ladies if you're reading this!!) My friend Alyx's mom is a nutritionist and personal trainer so she said she would give me some kick ass workouts and food advice and I'm going to go to kick boxing with her too. I'm so excited!!

I can't wait for summer. I don't think I've said that in almost 10 years. I will be looking better this summer than I have in a very long time, and I can hardly wait!! Working out hard now will produce results later. Starting slow of course and working myself up to much harder and longer workouts! I will be able to confidently wear a bikini again. Even if I only lose 30 of the 55 lbs I want to.

All in all though, if I don't get to the exact weight I would like to, I will be okay with that. As long as the reason is that I just have so much muscle that I weigh more! haha


My starting weight is 175. I am 5'3. My goal weight is 120. Ideally I would like to achieve this within the next 12 months, but it's a slow process so I will be satisfied if I can do it in a year and a half to make sure the weight comes off naturally and safely. If it comes off faster I will be very excited and happy about that too! I just want to make sure its permanent this time. I NEVER want to be where I am again. I vowed to get in shape after Sunnie was born and that's what I finally need to do. I am done having kids so I really want to get in shape now.

I'm planning on starting a detox next week. Looking up good detox drink recipes to really kick start the weight loss and help with bloating. Of course there will be pictures and such to show you how I make it etc. It's not going to be a diet solution for me, just a detox to really get my body going I guess haha

Keep up on those food diaries folks!! What have you done today that was a better decision than yesterday?? How is your water intake?? WE CAN DO THIS!!!

As always, comments and questions are welcome and encouraged!!


Until next year!

-Beka-

Rekindling the Fire...

Okay it has been a very long time since I've posted ANYTHING!! Like 3 years. WAYYY too long.

Since then I've had a wonderful baby girl named Reilynn who is 3 1/2 months old now, and Sunnie is already 7! I just bought a new car 2 1/2 weeks ago and I'm SO glad I did. (It's much nicer than my last car, and safer too!) Thanksgiving and Christmas were wonderful and we had a great time enjoying Reilynn's first holidays so far!  She's celebrated Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas!

 Anyway...I failed at my several attempts at losing weight, because I QUIT. I quit trying. It was just too damn hard. You know why it was too damn hard?? Because I made it that way for myself. By setting unrealistic goals for myself and expecting my body to change overnight and my years of horrible eating habits to magically get better in a day or 2. That's just not going to happen. It happens in BABY STEPS!!!

I now have an even better motivator to keep me going. I am in 3 weddings in the next 14 months! My first wedding that I'm a bridesmaid in is 5 1/2 months away. (YIKES!! I don't want to look like a blob in any of these weddings!

Don't let me fool you, I want to lose the weight for myself too. I really do. I want to lose the weight to be healthier. I want to lose the weight so I feel happier. I want to live longer for my kids and just so many other things!!

There's this thing called trial and error. And so far, well the error part has become pretty clear, BUT MOTIVATION is what is going to keep me going.

Yes. That. And if I would have just stuck with it, I would have lost all the weight I wanted to, but I didn't, and here's why.

1- I never had to watch my eating habits before. Before I was pregnant with my son, I was just skinny. I didn't have to worry about working out. I did because it was something to do on occasion. I never had to worry about my portion sizes or what I put into my body. So Taco Bell and soda and any other kind of junk food you could think of...I ate it.

Therefore once I tried to lose weight I saw a million different things online and decided to do ALL of them. I needed to do things gradually but I decided NO junk and a gluten free diet, and the paleo diet, and vegetarian, and no carbs, and eat smoothies for every meal...etc etc etc. It was overwhelming.

2- My workouts were insane. I thought I had to start out doing every workout that I saw online. I never started slow. I always jumped into it and decided I hated life and working out. And when you hate working out....you don't do it. So I quit working out. After all, sitting on my ass was sooooo much easier.

3- I tried to do a new fad diet every day of the week. Yikes. I didn't meal plan. I didn't know how to meal plan. I didn't know what I should eat, so I looked up all kinds of weird crazy recipes and tried those. Yeah...no wonder.

4- I stopped motivating myself. This one is self explanatory. I didn't hold myself to anything. I had no reason to keep going. I kept telling myself, ohh I'll do it tomorrow. Well I said that the day before...and the day before that..etc. I told myself I didn't have time...well I'm a single mom of 2, I never have time for anything. SOOOO nothing ever got done.

5- I wanted results and I wanted them NOW!! Rome wasn't built in a day...and losing weight was just a means to an end for me and not a lifestyle change. I just wanted the weight to come off already!!

6- I let the scale control me. I weighed myself EVERY SINGLE DAY. That was bad. That was not good. The little fluctuations drove me insane. Don't do that. Seriously don't.

NOW I'm doing this new thing with baby steps. THAT is totally different from what I was used to seeing! I wanted results before. Now I will get them. But on my own terms. I will find what works for me and post my journey along the way. I will want to give up. I will want to quit. But I have to think of how much better my life will be and how much happier I will be once I finally lose the weight I've wanted to for so long and become healthier and happier. I am not on a diet. I am on a journey to become healthy!!

I will have to officially weigh myself tonight to get a starting weight. I will take pictures. No I am not excited about those. I am extremely embarrassed by my body right now. I get the whole "you're beautiful no matter what your size" thing, but that's not me. I am not happy with myself so I NEED to make a change. For me. NOBODY else.

I have done HOURS of research on different things, from exercises to meal planning to motivation and everything in between. That's the first step. Other than acknowledging the fact that it's time to finally lose the weight you want to. Research different things and figure out what is going to work best for you and research THAT for hours and hours.

SOOOOO my baby steps so far....

1- I downloaded MyFitnessPal. It helps you document EVERYTHING that you eat or drink. Which realizing how many unnecessary calories you're taking in is soooo important.

2- I started taking a daily multivitamin. I know that doesn't seem like much, but it is. If you're deficient in something, your body will crave it. And you'll be more likely to fall off track. It's a nice little vitamin 'insurance' for the day to make sure you're getting enough of everything you're supposed to.

3- Meal planning. I take time to plan out what I'm going to have for the week. It makes going to the store more simple and it helps with portion control too. Which the MyFitnessPal app is very helpful in counting calories to know how much I can have of certain things.

4- I haven't had a cigarette in a day and a half. THIS IS SO HARD. But I need to quit.

5- I created a motivation board on Pinterest for when I feel like giving up.

6- I am taking photos of me before I lose the weight once I get home tonight

7- I am creating a pounds chart for myself as well to cross off the pounds I lose 1 at a time.

8- I am taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Seriously. Yesterday doesn't matter today, and tomorrow will matter tomorrow. I am worried about today, (except for meal planning of course)
Something like this:

So That's what I've got for today everyone! Feel free to leave any comments or questions for me and I'll be sure to answer them!

Until next time!

-Beka-